I have always wanted to act. Of course, when I was a kid I thought of it as wanting to "be an actress." My mom tells me when I was little and my parents would have friends over I would run into my room, put on my flounciest little dress, and run back out to twirl in front of them. You know, so my skirt would go out in a big circle. [grins] And they'd laugh, and clap, and that would just set me off on another round of spinning, until my parents would tell me that was enough.
I remember watching Marilyn Monroe and saying to myself, "I'm going to be an actress. But I'll be prettier than her." [laughs] I thought she had funny eyebrows. [laughs again]
But I never did it, until about 5 years ago. A friend gave me a part in a play she was doing. She says she created a monster. And now you just can't stop me. I've done tons of shows --- some better than others -- but I just have to act. I don't know what it is about acting that is so vital to me. I've thought about it a lot. The whole process of becoming another person, figuring out what makes her tick, working with other actors and a director to shape who that person is and what she's after and how she responds, digging deeper with each rehearsal, learning to love even the unattractive ones … it is just so compelling. And I'm driven to learn more, to get better at it, to deliver a performance that touches people in some way. I want audiences to leave the theater feeling they've been touched by something special, something that engages their hearts and minds and that they can't quite shake off.
I want to burn bright.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
I wrote this monologue recently to perform at an acting class. It tries and fails miserably to explain why I'm so driven to act. Fails because I still haven't really figured it out myself!